Most of us have “the drawer.” You know, the one that gets packed up when you’re moving and labeled “nightstand” on the box.
No judgement if you’re not a part of this fun and exclusive club, but if you are…well, you know the toe-curling pleasure the components of that drawer can bring. Research on their use is limited, but most reports show that two of three women uses a vibrator regularly.
As we should, ladies. As we should.
Statistically, about 75 percent of women will never orgasm from sex alone. Meanwhile, women also are working through orgasmic disorders and dysfunction issues.
Regardless of where you fall on the spectrum, one thing seems to be true: not enough women will seek help with this because they are too embarrassed to speak about it.
“This is a stigma that has to end, and it starts here and now with you and me.”
Together we can end the stigma
This is a stigma that has to end, and it starts here and now with you and me.
When I have said that having a trusting, tell-all relationship with your Obstetrician-Gynecologist is a necessity, I mean it. That relationship is only ever for your benefit. I want to help you. I am not embarrassed about this topic, rather it is my life’s work to help women, and I want women to experience the pleasure they want and deserve, not pain, frustration, or lack of fulfillment. Let me help you. Let your OB-GYN help you.
I want to take a second and remind you that sex is a good thing. It’s excellent for your endorphins, your relationship, and your self-esteem. So if you’re not experiencing pleasure during sex, you’re losing all the benefits.
There are many reasons women struggle in this arena:
o Underlying medical conditions (ex. diabetes)
o Older age
o previous surgeries (ex. hysterectomy)
o Guilt about sexual satisfaction
o Mental illness
o Medicines (ex. Antidepressants)
Oftentimes, it can be a combination of these reasons. So once your OB-GYN has ruled out illnesses and prescriptions aren’t helping it’s time to get down with the nitty-gritty.
(Ladies, it is ok to blush; no one knows what you’re reading right now).
Let’s talk about sex
If you’ve made it this far, I dare say that you are ready to put aside old guilt or unnecessary shyness, so let’s talk about orgasms. Do you have them? Do you have them with a partner? Does it only happen when you’re alone? Or is an orgasm more like a mystical unicorn, lovely to think about but not real?
One of the things that I would talk with you about next is sex toys.
Yes, you read that right. Toys aren’t just for kids anymore. I can help you with what to shop for and give you the right tips or tricks. You are not the first person to come to me talking about toys. The truth is, you never know what another woman has in her own bedside table.
Most women need direct clitoral stimulation to achieve an orgasm. That simply isn’t happening during sex to the frequency that most women would need to obtain an orgasm during sex.
That’s where the fun part comes in.
Toys and why they aren’t just for kids
Toys allow you to see what works. You can try different things to learn what feels best. You can learn more about your body by exploring with toys to find out what is pleasurable and what is not.
Once you have figured out how to orgasm on your own (again, this WILL be fun), it’s time to introduce your partner to your new toy (or toys). This can be intimidating or embarrassing, but sex can be too. Having an open and candid conversation about what works for you and what doesn’t is only going to make the right partner better and happier in the long run.
All great relationships are based on excellent communication. Personally, I think sex toys should be part of the repertoire when it comes to pleasure in the bedroom.
Remember that when you see your OB-GYN next.
We are there for all things women, and that includes sex and orgasms. You can blush, but don’t worry about us. We’ve got you sister. For all of the things. Even the toys.
As always, feel free to get in touch – I’d love to connect with you!